Thursday, March 31, 2011

Identity Crisis???

It tends to start with just one little pooh-pooh thought. . .A friend never responded to that sweet text I sent a few days ago. Oh no, what did I do to offend her?? She has finally realized how silly and crazy I am and decided she no longer wants to be my friend. Actually, no one really contacted me yesterday evening...I must have done something wrong or better yet, I am a flat out stinky person. Go ahead! Just do it already and be done! Give my that negative zero score I deserve for being the world's worst human being.....

Okay, okay, I have a tendency to over-exaggerate, but You get the picture. One tiny thought (or lie, rather) can get planted in my head and I claim it as true (which I hate to admit!) and thus begins that oh most terrible downward spiral to empty, dark nothing-ness! 


But, it's true - the fact that this has and still occasionally does happen to me. It's incredible the affect our thoughts, the enemy's lies, and the Savior's Truth has on our minds which thus affects our bodies, moods, and spiritual condition. 

My latest experience with this, Lord Jesus, was just this past Sunday morning. I don't know why, but I believed this little annoying booger of a lie that took me for quite the unpleasant emotional and mental roller coaster! You are so good, though! On my walk to class that morning, You spoke Your words of Truth to me through a pastor's sermon on my ipod. Since this spiral has occurred before, Your grace allowed me to recognize the believed lie rather quickly!! I repented (yes, it's a sin to believe anything but Your Truth, crazy!!), and I experienced...

FREEDOOOOOOMMM!!!! (I like to sing it :)

Thank You, Jesus, thank You!!!

That night, at church, my pastor spoke on the temptation of Jesus in the Wilderness. And, something he said stuck out to me:

"The enemy's primary goal is to get you (Child of God) to doubt your identity in Christ!!!"

WOW!!! SO true!!!

Jesus, if my identity/security is in anything other than YOU, I can expect emotional, mental and spiritual chaos! 

Lord Jesus, my Savior and Redeemer, thank You for being my Identity and my Security and my Confidence and my Peace and my Joy and my Strength and Provision and Wisdom!!! 

Thank You, Precious Jesus, for being my LIFE!!! :)


Saturday, March 26, 2011

A Li'l Etiquette 101

God, let's chat. Since I've moved to NYC, I've seen a little bit of everything (good, bad, normal, not-so-normal, rude and plain crazy). This whole area of etiquette, I feel, is a touchy subject. We humans don't like to be offended and whatnot. Okay, I get that. But, there's a fine line between not offending someone and not letting someone embarrass themselves silly. Maybe they know...Or, perhaps, they've just never been told that an action or habit (or whatever it may be) is just not socially acceptable and could prevent the making (and keeping!) of friends...

What your Mama never told you and wish she had, or perhaps, you just weren't listening:

~ Don't pick your nose in public. It's gross.

~ If you're standing with a group of people in the center of the walkway and a person is walking toward you, obviously wanting to pass, let her through by moving to the side - or at least an inch or two to let her know that you at least acknowledge her existence. 

~ Don't drink more than you can handle.

~ Speaking of drink, if you ask a girl out, at least offer to buy the drink.

~ Clean up after yourself...that includes washing your hands after #2.

~ If you must say the f-word in your vocabulary, try your hardest to limit it to 3 uses per sentence....or better yet, just shut up, especially around the children. (You can always say "poo" instead)

~ Truck drivers. Please show courtesy to those of us who actually like to sleep here in the city by not blaring your horn at 3 in the morning.

~ Don't let your strawberries become unidentifiable...if there're white fuzzy things in a berry container in your fridge, toss it.

~ You can never be too generous. If your friend owes you $1.72, don't let them pay you....And, if you owe $1.72, give him/her 2 whole bucks. (Would you seriously tell your friend they owe you $.50 more???).

~ Try not to tell an acquaintance your potty troubles.

~ Don't complain. It's annoying.

~ If you're a talker, let the person you're talking to say at least 4 words for every 100 of yours.

~ Avoid telling your pleasant customers to leave your Thai restaurant so you can change tables....that is, if you would like their business in the future.

~ Don't cheat. Period. If your excuse is that your boyfriend cheats on you....ask yourself, "Why the heck are we together???"

~ Please stop having a bubble gum blowing contest with yourself during Bible Study.

~ Put that cell phone down! At least when your driving a cab, crossing the street, or texting while walking...Dangerous!

That's all for tonight. Don't want to give you more than you can handle. If you find yourself guilty of one or more of these, tomorrow is a new day! All is forgiven!!! EXCEPT the picking your nose thing :)


Friday, March 25, 2011



long day (but rewarding).

busy week (but productive).

crazy life (but oh so good).

When life gets a little chaotic, a little hectic, a little I've-been-going-nonstop-and-I-just-want-some-zzz's....You Jesus have a tendency to remind me in the most gentle of ways....


Psalm 46:10


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

For the True Kid at Heart :)

Flying High. Pure Elation. Sheer Delight. Top of the World. Joyous Ecstasy. Abundant Enthusiasm. Perfect Euphoria.....

I was Superman (fine, "Superwoman"). Ready to take on the world. Combat anything. And, at the same time, I could have laughed myself silly. Enough energy to sprint a marathon.

Was it a dream??? Was it a vision??? Could it have been memories of my first life??? Or the desires of my future???

Was I acting??? Or pretending???

Oh, I know!!! Sleep deprivation? Or, wait, no, this sounds more like drugs!

What could produce this kind of super-human, over-the-top emotion, energy, and strength???.....

It's a simple 5-letter word and it comes in all kinds of forms, shapes, and sizes:


Yep, the above was a more-or-less accurate description of Ali Wright on the sweet stuff. I blame it on culinary school - the never-ending meringues, souflees, custards, ahhh!!!

This is serious business! I don't recommend sugar-overload at home. Well, unless you want to feel...well, read the beginning again. Kinda fun...for a time or two or three :)

And, this is why I don't overdose on sugar everyday....

This post is pointless...but none-the-less, FUN!

To the kid in us all: eat that bite of rich, decadent chocolate ganache. Or, don't and wish you had.

Yours Truly ~

The True Kid At Heart :D

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

My Favorite Color

Ok, Lord, I know I'm a little late in posting my St. Patty's Day adventures, but believe me, a holiday such as this one takes at least a few days to process here in this over-the-top city. So, I knew that you get pinched if you don't wear a little green and that cabbage and corned beef make their proud appearance on dining tables for this Irish holiday. Yet, before this March 17th, never had I known what a true celebration of Saint Patrick's Day was...well, now I know.

Do you want to know my highlight of the day, Jesus???

No, it wasn't the excitement of finally being able to wear my bright kelley green shirt or sitting in Central Park in the warm sunshine with my sweet roomie.

And, it certainly wasn't the overly loud and immature mass of high school and college-age students running around the city for their Spring break.

It could have been the St. Patty's Day parade on 5th Ave with all the tourist onlookers. Or even the adorable Irish men in their skirts, I mean kilts. Or better yet, my highlight could have so easily been listening to the glorious sound of all those beautiful bag pipes.

Well, and let's not forget St. Patty's at nighttime. The beyond many Irish pubs and bars packed full of well-hydrated folk. Cute li'l Stone Street in FiDI so lively like no other day in the year. And, fun friends (new and old) to celebrate this..."fun" holiday with. None of these were my highlight.

Now, why all of these potential highlights (although good and fun) were not THE highlight, I'm not exactly certain. But, I do know that I wasn't touched to the core, in my soul, with any of these like I was with this moment:

On my way back from the parade, I was walking swiftly (as I always am :) through the NYC mass. I was approaching a man standing off to the side of the sidewalk, holding a Bible and a sign that said, "Jesus is Lord." Not gonna lie, when I saw that man, I kinda rolled my eyes (inside, anyway)...I thought he was one of those in-your-face, repent-or-hell, legalistic, bitter men that yell at you as you pass on by. (Reminds me of that one time I was is Livermore, CA with my fam. And, we were driving by a man who was preaching. I yelled out that window, "I love Jesus too," and he looked at me with intense, hard eyes, and then yelled, "OBEY HIM!!" Yeah, I was kinda taken caught off guard though that I just laughed).

Anyway, I read that sign and immediately, my spirit gave a shout of joy! I love the Name of Jesus! SO powerful. And, then, this man, I noticed, was a sweet older timid man. Right as I walked by, I flashed him a huge smile. He spoke in almost a whisper and said, "And, for the joy set before him..."

At that moment, tears filled my eyes. I was overwhelmed. I think it was the fact that my Dear Savior was being preached on the streets of crazy NYC on the most popular holiday of the year, yet in the most gentle, precious of ways. He was obviously a shy man, yet he loved Jesus enough to put aside his weakness and comfort and tells others about The Good News, Jesus! Oh, what a sweet, faithful man serving his Sweet, Faithful Lord. "Jesus, please bless that man! Bless him today and just love him!"

That moment was my St. Patty's Day highlight. And, it would be fitting to say: like a rare, treasured four-leaf color was that man on the streets of New York City.

Good Night! xoxo

*A great view of St. Patty's Day parade on 5th Ave! :)

For all y'all who didn't know...Green is my favorite color!!!! And, I love bag pipes. And, I'm quite fond of a thick Irish accent. And, I think I'll name my first son, Patrick Athole O'Connor McDougal. :)

Monday, March 21, 2011

Ich Vermisse Dich

I know, Lord, I know, I haven't written you in awhile...I could make up some darn good excuses, but I'm not going to. We all are pretty busy these days with our full schedules and all. Things to do, places to go, people to see. Life happens. Time passes. Pretty quickly, by the way....too quickly, actually, if you ask me.

Speaking of time and its swift passing, I can't believe today marks the one year anniversary of my class's graduation from Bodenseehof Bible School in beautiful Friedrichshafen, Germany!!! Honestly, seriously, how did that happen??? So many great times, beautiful revelations, special moments throughout my six-month-long personal spiritual retreat last year. I could go on and on and recall all the favorite memories, but I'm not going too, at least not tonight...

Sometimes, I just like to sit and be quiet. Kinda like last night. At church, I sat with my dear friend. And, after the service, we were both perfectly content just sitting and not talking. We just sat, eyes forward...Nothing awkward about or wrong with that. It just is what it is. Overwhelming truths, emotional overload, physical fatigue, life contemplation??? Perhaps. Sometimes there just aren't words....

Relation to our Bodenseehof class one year anniversary???

Our remembrance of our time there goes without saying...

Stillness. Quiet. Pondering. Reminiscing. Thanking. A smile, yes. A tear, perhaps. A content sigh from thinking about the beyond-incredible experience last year. An eternal gratefulness to the One who used that experience to change my heart and become my Life...and, hopefully, yours as well, Dear Precious Bodenseehof Friend.

I miss you lots. I love you more :)


Monday, March 7, 2011

Lessons From a Wise (and cute, adorable and elderly) Man :)

In Honor of My Mother....Because She's Coming for a Visit Tomorrow!!!! :)

Oh, Lord, I just LOVED reading this email that my Mama forwarded to me the other day! Touched my heart and soul :)

Email Forwarded by my Mom ~

This is something we should all remember.
A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.
His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window. I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'
'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied.
Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.
Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away.. Just for this time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank. I am still depositing.

*Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Jesus, I want to live a full life like this old man and another person - my mother! I truly believe my mom is one of the few human beings who genuinely  lives free of bitterness and worries, lives with a contagious simplicity, is SO incredibly generous in all aspects, and lives with little expectations, which allows You to work outside of the box that we like to fit You in, Lord!

Thank You for Mama!!! YEA!!! I can't wait to see her tomorrow! SO excited, I just might pee!! :)

Weekend Culinary Highlights!

Happy Monday, Jesus!! :)

Ah, K, so I totally wanted to post on my blog every day this past weekend; however, it was a full weekend., I decided to highlight my culinary experiences of the past three days!


On Friday, I began an apprenticeship with the head chef of a bar and restaurant called Macao Trading Co, which is in Tribeca (lower Manhattan). I loved it! I worked for six hours in the kitchen. Made a double batch of curry chocolate cake (flowerless!), Portuguese doughnuts, and halved a huge box of raw brussel sprouts. Lots of work, but I enjoyed it quite a bit! I'm excited for this more hands-on culinary experience!

So, after my work, the chef told me I could help myself to anything at the bar...yep, anything on the menu! I was kinda excited!!! Sitting at the bar, I felt like a little kid in a candy shop. No, it was not an endless array of sweets. Rather, I, a total foodie, was given permission to order a cocktail and meal of choice, on the house (well, I did just work six hours for free, but that's beside the point :). Anyway, I was a pretty happy camper when my Bashful Maiden (nice light refreshing cocktail with a mix of gin, some botanical liquor, lemon and melon) was handed to me. And, an even giddier little girl (well, not so little any more. after all, I'm over 21 and drinking occasional big girl drinks :) when I was served my beautiful meal. Simply gourmet deliciousnes: lamb chops with a basil gremolata (similar to an herb pesto), Thai slaw (nice spice kick to it), and crispy yucca garlic fries (sprinkled with fresh parsley). Contentment. Sigh. Smile :)



My dear friend, Jess, had a Southern Potluck at her apartment on Saturday night. Well, since I'm not from the south and don't possess a deep liking for southern cuisine, I wasn't overly enthusiastic about the theme of this dinner party. Yet, not wanting to miss out on any potential social fun, I pulled up my cute rain boot straps (ha!) and decided to go! I even contributed to the southern-themed potluck with my Southern California dip (roasted corn, halved sweet cherry tomatoes, avocado, garlic, sauteed onion, oregano, salt, pepper, lemon juice, cumin, and lots of love :) with its own southern flare. I actually had a lovely time. Met some great people, tried homemade strawberry jello shots, and ate lots of delicious home cooked southern food (favorite: potato casserole and kale salad)! I was even asked if I was from the south (does so cal count??)...I think/hope that's a compliment :)


Fin Fish day in culinary school yesterday! Had NO idea what to expect. But, ended up having a complete blast! We learned all about fish, then got to handle our own fish (which included gutting, de-finning, be-heading, and filleting), watched the chef demo, and lastly, created some delicious fish dishes (including salmon lox, seared ahi tuna, pan fried bass and flounder, and a few others - YUM!!!)!! I was actually quite proud of myself, considering I think live fish are rather cute :)

FUN weekend!!!

Thank You, Sweet Jesus, for these fun, exciting, and delicious experiences!!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

"This Little Light of Mine"

"L-i-g-h-t~" That's the word that I wrote in my journal today, at the tope of the page. That's the word that You gave me. And, what I me by "gave" is that I asked you this morning what you would like me to focus on today. I like simplicity. So, the thing that popped in my head was "light," God as Light. You are my Light. You are the Light in this dark city of light. You desire to shine Your glorious Light through me in this numb, dark, and oppressive place that is searching for something (or Someone, rather).

Ways in which your theme of "Light" shone through today:

*I had the opportunity to profess my relationship with you on camera today! Ahh, so exciting! I was asked my "religious beliefs" and shared that I don't give into that religious c**p (no, I didn't really say those exact words :), but I do have a personal relationship with the God (that's You!) of this universe.

*I went "out on the town" tonight! Grabbed a drink with a friend at a jazz bar/lounge. And, then, we went to this older, little piano bar around the corner in the West Village. Wow...quite the unique experience. Let's just say that being able to sit and watch a decent size group of elderly woman and homosexual men sing various broadway musicals at the top of their lungs, along with the piano man is cause for a very entertaining evening...Not knowing my lyrics and not having a good voice (therefore, not being able to sing along) does have its benefits as I was able to just people watch :) No, but really, while this was a fun/funny scenario to observe, I was very aware of the fact that that bar was very full of lost, searching, wounded souls...My heart went out the the individuals there. All I could do was pray for them and pray that You, Lord, work how only You know how to work! Be the Light in this dark place!

*Lastly, I see Your Light taking effect, even if only just beginning to stir the hearts here. I reached out to a student in my culinary class who hadn't been to class for a couple of weeks now. Curious as to why he's been absent, I sent him an email last night. He let me know that he's been dealing with a lot of hardship in his life...losing his apartment, job, and girlfriend, I responded with the following: (our email conversation below

"Oh my goodness! I'm SO sorry! I did not know! Wow! You're dealing with a lot right now! Please know that you are loved and will be missed. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. If you would like me to pray for anything specific (more than what you mention), please let me know. I am sad. My heart goes out to you during this difficult time in your life. Please hang in there! I believe it WILL get better! There's always hope.

I hope to stay in touch. I hope you won't mind if I check in on you every once and awhile?!"


(His response):
"No I wouldn't, and maybe I need that. Sorry to burden you with my problems, but I don't know or didn't know where else to go ( you may be an Angel ). I know that you are a true believer in God and I really think I need him (or her ) right now."

"This little Light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!"

Jesus, shine in and through me and all your beloved children! May Your Light continue to touch the lost souls among us. Shine, Jesus, shine!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The 2 Became 1....And, then they Boogied on Down!!!

Hi Jesus! Wow! What a whirlwind life has been! I am now back in the city that never sleeps, and spring is in the air :)

I just want to thank You SO much for allowing me to go home for a bit and see my most precious family and friends! Thank You thank You thank You!!! I am beyond thrilled that I was able to attend Alyssa and Jon's wedding! Oh boy, speaking of wedding. What an incredible, beautiful, and fun wedding theirs was! Such a blast and so honoring to You and Your beauty, Lord! I have to say, like Ryan and Erin's wedding, this wedding was perfect :)

Wedding Favorites ~

~Seeing Jon's face as his bride walked down the aisle! Definitely some tears there!
~"And, now I pronounce you husband and wife!" Sweet kiss!
~Adorable flower girl (or flower princess, rather!) and her poofy dress :)
~The absolutely gorgeous view! Sparkling ocean to the west (along with a beautiful sunset) and snow-capped mountains to the east.
~Being able to see so many wonderful family and friends and meeting new ones (like my new niece, Emma Rose!)
~My brothers in their new suits.
~Yummy dinner!
~Free alcohol ;) Perfect for the speech given by my most-loved uncle! I love you, Uncle K! :)
~Best first dance ever! Alyssa and Jon need to enter some competitions! What d'ya say?!?!
~Best dancing ever! Crazy fun blast! Oh boy, do I love to dance!
~Seeing Alyssa and Jon so happy, so in love! It's precious how much they love and adore each other!

I'm so happy for my cousin Alyssa and my new cousin Jon!!! CONGRATULAIONS!!! :)

P.S....I'm kind of excited to get married! :)